Horny Farm Review ★★★☆☆
Horny Farm, what else is there to be on a farm with a bunch of hotties?
Pros:
- 6 girls
- 16 adult scenes
- Simple UI
- Voiced lines
Cons:
- AI use
- Our aunt sucks
- Can’t hide UI
- Gallery for images and H scene tabs the same
- I couldn’t continue
- No voiced lines
Explanation to Negative Feedback
AI use
The Steam store states this:
The content has been inspired and pre-generated for our artists to be reworked later.
Our aunt sucks
She calls us up out of the blue while we’re lamenting our life and offers us a chance to live on the old family farm that’s run down and looks like it needs some serious cash to put it in living conditions again.
So, great that we’re getting out of the city life like we want to with her phone call.
Terrible that the place is more of a disgrace than most cozy farming games start us off with.
We get to live there for free as long as we play fixer-upper, and of course she sweetens the deal by dangling the bait of beautiful girls.
By the end…she’s trying to take everything that we’ve worked so hard for away from us…once again out of nowhere. It’s weird because normally it’s the evil stepmother that doesn’t look remotely pretty, but this time we’re dealing with the evil aunt who looks really hot.
Can’t hide UI
It’s the only thing that kind of sucks in regards to the UI. It’s a transparent background at the bottom where you have your text, so it’s not entirely cutting you off from the view of things, but text is still in the way during inopportune moments.
Gallery for images and H scene tabs the same
There are three tabs in the Gallery section of the menu–Images, H Scenes, and Chapters.
Images show the H scenes. H scenes show the H scenes. And chapters show the clean images. I don’t understand the difference between the images and the H scenes tab, because they’re the same thing.
Unless they meant to add every single image into the images tab and just forgot there was a SFW section.
I couldn’t continue
So, I’ve played this game before. I’ve got all the achievements for it and the gallery images to boot. But when I started the game up, the continue button was greyed out, and I couldn’t click it. There was no load option either.
The only thing available was the new game.
Why…is there no continuing for someone who’s already played the game? Why’s there no load feature?
It’s been a while since I booted it up at this point, but if there was an option to start the game from scratch…I feel like there should still be a load option?
Funny enough, starting the game again, I hit the load button at the top of the screen, and I can load one of the slots I’d saved in from before, so now I’m even more confused.
No voiced lines
This typically isn’t a con, because it doesn’t really matter in the end to me if it’s voiced or not, especially since I do commentary videos with voicing the lines myself, but in the options, there’s a slider for voice.
But there are no voiced lines.
So that’s just super misleading.
Explanation to Positive Feedback
6 girls
It’s a lot of girls to choose from, and luckily you don’t have to choose, because in the end, they’re all yours. I’d like to say that they each have their own individual personalities, but, I don’t think that’s the case.
They all have their roles to play within the farm, but there’s only one girl whose personality is a far cry from everyone else’s, and that’s Harper.
Everyone else is just…thirsty.
You’ve got Delia, who’s into crops and almost certainly practices blowjobs on cucumbers and eggplants with how she chokes down our own cock.
Pansy is the big-bosom baker who naturally fits your dick between her cleavage for the ultimate kneading experience.
Emily works in the stables, and she’s a voluptuous girl who’s self-conscious about her body, until we bring her self-confidence back up by worshipping those curves.
Ember is out on the ranch, and she loves Emily’s milk as much as she loves using her feet to milk our cock.
Harper is very stand-offish, but she’s got a jealous streak in her knowing we’re playing with all the other ladies, thus doesn’t entirely want to be left out, no matter her attitude.
Zoya works the shop and she’s very forward with what she wants.
16 adult scenes
Granted, some of them aren’t full-on sexual scenes; they’re more like glimpses of what we want but can’t have yet because we keep getting interrupted. Most of them are static images, but there are some that are animated.
Not the best animations but…it’s still nice to have movement to a picture at times.
After learning a bit more about the women and where they work and what their jobs are in town, that’s when the lust really hits everyone hard.
Simple UI
The icons for saving, loading, options, and exit are at the top right and don’t seem to get in the way at all. On the top left is the previous text arrow, fast forward toggle, and auto text toggle.
A large transparent bar than that of the icons on the right, but still fairly out of the way.
It’s just a shame you can’t hide anything.